My Life

My first post will be on my life because after all what would be the meaning of reading a blog if you didn't know anything about the author. My life started in Dec of 1988. Yes, I am almost a christmas baby, 22nd, and yes I do get jipped out of presents. Just like everyone else I have had high times and I have had low times but at all times they were with God.

I grew up in Norco, La with my father and mother and being an only child I am sure I was spoiled more than other children. Actually that is an incorrect statement because I have a half brother from my fathers first marriage however he is a good 10 years older than me and we have never lived in the same home. My personal claim to fame occurred in 1994 when my T-Ball team won the parish championship.

All throughout my school years I have never wanted to be the cool kid. I was always fine with being known as "the really big guy". Everyone knew my name but not many people knew much about me. I wish I would have taken the time to change that and share more of my life with the people I grew up with so they could experience the same thing I have.

Earlier I mentioned that everything I have done in my life I have done it with God. That doesn't mean that I always did everything right, or that I always put God first. Luckily for me I have alot of people who love me and who were willing to pray for me when I refused to pray for myself.

The roughest time I have ever experienced in my life is when I was 16. I was young and dumb and I knew better but my girlfriend turned up pregnant. I didnt realize it at the time but it was part of God's plan. Since I had been involved in church ever since I was young and appeared to do the right thing the people around me were shocked. The truth is that I was wearing a mask. I knew how to act at church to fool everyone and I knew how and when to say and do the right things to make people think everything was ok. That could not have been further from the truth.

I know the youth group at New Life has heard this 100 times but I am going to say it 100 more times until the youth and the young adults listen. My downward spiral started at the age of 13 when I decided I was going to listen to worldly music instead of church music every change I got. I would get home one hour before my parents and turn the radio to 105.3 and listen to the light rock that they played on that station at the time. That in itself isn't bad but I have come to understand that everything in this world has an influence and if it goes unchecked you will end up in a world of trouble.

Like all things the light rock progressed into alternative, the alternative progressed into hardrock, and by the time I hit 17-18 and had my own truck I was listening to bands like Godsmack, Disturbed and others. If you don't know about these bands take a look at their home page and you wont have to see anymore to know what they stand for. According to the bible darkness and light cannot coexist. Needless to say there wasn't much light left in me. Luckily for me I had a God fearing mother who wasn't afraid to get on her knees and pray but I will speak more to that later.

I went down all the wrong paths took all the wrong turns and here I am with this 1 yr old son. I don't know what to do because I am still a kid myself so I made more wrong choices. I would ignore my responsibilities as much as possible and do as much as I could for myself. I was in a place where I went to church but I didn't care. The only thing I was worried about was having fun and I did whatever it took to do it. I don't believe I need to go into detail for you to get the picture.

Little did I know that the whole time I had a mother and a church family that was praying for me the entire time. I thought I had them fooled but they knew better. At times I felt that they turned their back on me but in fact it was me shutting them out. I do have to say I am thankful for Keith Delaune in this aspect. I have never told him this or anyone else until now but when I first found out my girlfriend was pregnant and the news got out and I turned my back on everyone Keith was still there. I don't know what it was or why he did it but he always made it a point to come shake my hand and ask my how I was. I never got into details with him but the notion was enough.

When people write things like this they usually leave the details out like "I would cry at night" or "I felt empty". Well excuse me but let me be completely transparent. You may be thinking, big deal here is just another teenager that likes to party, worksout alot and listens to evil music. Well its not that simple. In this life there is a constant battle that is going on between good and evil. Well when you are mixed up in evil and there is some good God fearing people who are praying for you your life is the center of a battle ground. I would find myself wishing I wasn't born. The mental anguish that I lived with for those two long years was almost more than I could bear. I never showed this side of myself to anyone. I was ashamed.

I was real big into working out and impressing girls. I thought there was nothing more important, including my son, than working out. I worked out religiously to the point where it was an idol. I never missed, but what I did miss was what was going on in my life.

When I turned 19 years old I started working with the girl of my dreams, but I didn't know it at the time. We started casually dating and to be honest neither one of us thought it would ever go anywhere. Meanwhile I was still being my ignorant self and having what I thought was a good time.

One day I had had enough. I couldn't take the lifestyle I was leading. I found myself at the alter of the church, a place I frequented but never took seriously, and this time I was desperate. I didn't want something from God I needed something from God.

That night was the turning point. Did I instantly turn around? Nope. Did I walk away feeling 100 times better? Nope. But God had me in his hands the whole time.

I started to realize that my son was more important in my life than anything else besides God. I wanted to do the right thing and be there for him in ways that only a father can. Then I had Rae Anne. She is amazing. I wanted to be my best for her. I still didn't imagine we would ever end up married but I wanted to prove to her that I could be that guy.

I started doing little things like reading my bible in the morning, nothing major just a chapter and sometimes only a few verses. Well let me tell you something. There is something magical about that book. I didn't always understand what I was reading yet somehow it blessed my life. I started praying more in church. Then after 3 or 4 months of this I felt I was ready to get involved in the ministry again.

Let me add another note in here. That last paragraph makes it seem like an easy journey. There wasn't nothing easy about it. Remember that battle that I spoke of earlier that is occurring constantly. Well neither side wants to lose. The fact of it is that the battle isn't between God and satan. Satan is nothing. God created him and God can end him. Nuff said. The real battle occurs in your mind and its against this thing called flesh. Were all attached to it and none of us can get rid of it. Well I struggled. It wasn't all a shiny journey I went up mountains then crashed down into valleys the whole way.

In the meantime me and Rae started getting more serious and I was thankful. The mixture of being in a serious relationship and having a son made me mature way beyond my age and this was key in my walk with God.

Now I can look back on all these events and I have skipped some and I have been very brief. There is much more detail I can go into but it is not appropriate for this post. However I can tell you this. Everything that has happened to me, from the best of times to the worst of times, has first gone through the hands of God. There was a reason everything happened. The truth is that if those things wouldn't have happened I may not be in church today. It would have been much easier to continue on the path I was on without the responsibilities that were put in my life.

God knew this and he let me fall, but he was always there to help me back up. At times I am sure that he carried me because I could not walk on my own. He is my salvation, my direction, my help, my healer, and he gives me mercy, shows me kindness, and helps me forgive others.

Everywhere I look I see Gods hand in my life. He has shaped and molded me from birth and will continue until my death. I submit my life fully to his will and want to fulfill all that he has planned for me.

I want to publicly thank my mother and my church family for never giving up on me. They were with me from the very beginning and they will stand with me and fight for me when I am unwilling until the very end.

Needless to say I hope that someday I can extend the compassion and love that has been extended to me. I hope that I can be in the gap for someone and help them along their journey when they cannot stand on their own.

I am happy to report that God has tremendously blessed my life. All day everyday I am surrounded by God fearing men and they lift me up more than they know.

I am now 21 years old, a single (soon to be married May 15th) father, a home owner, a full time college student, a singer at church, a guitar player at church, a youth worker, and the most God loving person you can come into contact with. In a economy where things are down my God has provided for me. You see when you receive the Holy Ghost and you are baptized in Jesus name your life is no longer bound by the rules and fluctuations of this world. I live my life through the economy of Christ and I enjoy giving to him because he has blessed me more than I ever would have imagined.

Hows that for an intro?